Bittersweet

Hey! My name is Alyssa Esposito and I’m starting this blog because several people have come to me about it and suggested I start one. I love to write (I am writing an autobiography) and I also feel it may be a way for me to give back in a small way. I never felt that creating a blog was the right time up until now. Before I go on, I’m going to ask if you read my “About” at the top of the screen and then return to this blog post. But to make things easier I will copy it down below…

My name is Alyssa Esposito and I’m a 26 year old aspiring writer and amateur photographer.

I enjoy cooking, writing, photography, photo restoration, and reading.

In this blog you will find posts about:
My traumatic, joyous and painful past health experiences and how I conquered them.
Some how-to’s and tips on my ever growing knowledge of the medical world of which I have lived and continue to survive.
My every day life which include doctor appointments, doctor phone calls, family time and every day travels.
And most of all, the jam-packed, painful truths and innermost thoughts that bury deep inside my head.

I believe my purpose in life is to fight and if I am meant to fight these battles then I have to honor that.
I cannot stop and won’t stop fighting.
Until my duty here is done.

Okay, so that’s a very short description of myself, what I enjoy, what I plan on posting etc. But please keep in mind that I have no previous experience with the blogging world so I may not post a lot or everyday but I will try out different things so I can stick with a schedule or something. So bare with me as I learn and figure out what works best.

Coincidentally today is my 8th heart transplant anniversary. Some years I like to “celebrate” it and other years I like to sit back and pretend its any other day. Not because I want to ignore it but sometimes the feeling are too much to handle. Today is probably one of those anniversaries. Because it’s too long of a story to tell right now ( I plan on telling it in full detail in the future) I’ll give you a link to two articles so you can see what happened 8 years ago, yesterday.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/13/sports/baseball/13gardner.html
https://www.guideposts.org/better-living/entertainment/sports/hope-for-a-homer

But today, around 5am this morning I had gotten the heart transplant surgery. I recognize both days as being significant. Today is hard and I feel the upcoming days inch forward to this point. I even planned on not saying anything in this blog post about it but that always changes each year. It’s a bittersweet day and I recognize the loss and gain of life. I mourn for the loss of a life but I am thankful for the priceless gift.
I do have a lot to say even though I keep to myself and am quite shy. Some of you know me and some of you don’t. And also some of you know me very well and some not so much. But I will try and do my best to open myself up as much as I can because I want to share my past experiences and feeling that go with them. I am only 26 but feel like I have lived a lifetime already. It’s tiring and hard but the most rewarding times have been the most difficult. I cry and get angry like any other person does, I most certainly will not sugar coat any of my experiences I plan on sharing.

For those who know absolutely nothing about my medical history I will put this here:
Leukemia (chemotherapy/full body radiation) 2 months old
Bone marrow transplant 14 months
Heart failure (cardiomyopathy/myocarditis) 16 years old 2008
Heart transplant May 2009
Brain surgery (craniotomy) 2010 and 2011
Hip surgery (core decompression) 2015
Right hip replacement 2016
With a few minor things in between…

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into but I’ll figure it out along the way. I promise my future posts won’t be this scattered!

15 thoughts on “Bittersweet”

  1. Alyssa,
    You are such an inspiration. So happy you are writing a blog. Looking forward to reading more. God is going to continue to use you in a mighty way. You are always in my prayers. May God Bless you Always.

    Love,
    Stacy Doerler ❤️😘

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  2. Dearest Alyssa,
    Beautifully written, we have always said your are a warrior, you are an inspiration to everyone you come in contact with, especially Pete. God Bless you and I’m looking forward to reading all that you write, im sure it will be informative, inspirational and heartfelt in every way. Love hugs and kisses, cousins, Celia and Peter 🙏🏻❤️

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  3. Dear Alyssa,
    I know you don’t remember me dear one but I was there in Calvary Baptist when you were diagnosed with leukemia. If I remember correctly you were the youngest ever to be diagnosed with leukemia. I remember how we all rallied around the family unit praying you and your family through those horrific days. Your picture forever etched in my memory. Oh how excited we were when the cake came out with I think it said I’ve got the match do you have the candle. Remember this was a long time ago, but I do remember the excitement and the jubilant atmosphere that day. We were rejoicing yet prayful toward the family who lost a life to give a life.
    You were and are a mighty warrior dear and many hearts turned toward God as you and your family fought the battles through the years.
    I’ve heard about the other huge health challenges you have faced through the years and have joined my heart and prayers with the others who petitioned the Lord for your healing.
    You have a story to tell as God has used your trials to form your testimony.
    I know without a shadow of a doubt God has a plan for you to prosper you not to harm you to give you hope and a future…Jeremiah 29:11 my life verse.
    Keep fighting keep sharing keep walking close to our Savior Jesus Christ.
    The world needs to hear your story. 💕
    Blessings Jane Strahm

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  4. Alyssa,

    I am sure you have absolutely no idea who I am but I thought I would comment anyways. Your mother was my first grade teacher as well as my older sisters. I remember so many days in school with my teachers and classmates and out of class with my family praying for you. It is crazy to think of that and see how far you have come. It is such an answer to prayer. I hope you and your family are doing well!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Alyssa you are such a voice of encouragement, wisdom and inspiration. You’ve walked through more valleys and climbed more mountains in your 26 years than most people do in their lifetime. You can speak into people’s lives like no one else can and youve chosen a great way to share your voice. I pray God not only blesses you through this but touches many and brings others to an understanding of what a faithful, living God He is.. lots of love to you!

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  6. I did it! Signed up for your blog and now leaving a comment!! Woot woot!
    Alyssa, your story has been out in the public for a long time as we have desperately coveted the prayers of the saints! It is such a time as this that folks want to hear your story from you! Thank you for your words love!

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  7. I’m not one to read blogs, but I thought this is one should read. Keep sharing! Keep fighting! Even though we’re far and don’t keep in touch much, The Blancos love and pray for you. In our weakness He is strong, and you certainly have His strength.

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  8. Hi Alyssa, You and your family hold a special place in my heart from so many years ago. I am grateful we have kept in contact (email, US mail, Facebook) and I’ve been able to watch you grown into the beautiful and talented young woman you are. As years have gone by I’ve watched from afar you go through so much and wished that you lived in Seattle or I lived in New York so I could help in some way. You’re never far from my thoughts, sending you a virtual hug and tons of love!

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  9. I love you more than words can say. God made you so special Alyssa. You have been through more in your 26 years than most have or will in their lifetime. You continue to inspire me…. life is a precious blessing.

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  10. Alyssa
    Thank you for sharing your amazing and miraculous story. The courage you have shown each and every day has been so inspirational to myself as well as so many others. I’m sure your blog will encourage so many others that to whom you would otherwise never have been able to share. God has done so many wonderful things to and for you. So glad to have had the chance to get to know you

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  11. I am amazed how much of a fighter you are! You have experienced more than many 26 yr.olds for sure. Although we hadn’t met you yet, God was writing your story in his heart. I remember all the prayers that went up on your behalf, awaiting news that your transplant scheduled and we waited for news. God certainly has an awesome plan for your life. All the obstacles and challenges you have faced ,you faced along with an amazing family and support-team. You have grown to a beautiful & sensitive young woman, a child of the living God. Looking forward to reading your blog. You will succeed, as you succeed in all you put your heart into. May God continue to bless your life and the lives of your precious family. Always remember who’s child you are, and an amazingly talented & godly young woman of the King! You’ve got alot of life to live, and you will live it with joy, peace, & thansgiving. God bless you sweet Alyssa!

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  12. I do remember a lot of your past but also learned some new too just reading this….remember when your parents brought you to Seattle for the bone marrow transplant….it seemed so far away but now I live here in Washington….I remember reading all your posts, at our morning pray meetings,about your transplant time, to the teachers I was working with…….I am so happy to be reading your words and look forward to many more entries 😊

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